Old and New Jokes

How many can you afford?



It only takes one to change your bulb…to his.



Two. One to change it and one to keep interrupting

by standing up and shouting Objection!



Three. One to do it and two to sue him for malpractice.



Three. One to turn the bulb, one to shake him off the

ladder, and the third to sue the ladder company.



Three. One to sue the power company for insufficiently supplying

power, or negligent failure to prevent the surge that made the bulb

burn out in the first place, one to sue the electrician who wired

the house, and one to sue the bulb manufacturers.



Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object,

one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter,

one to stipulate, five to turn in their time cards, one to depose, one

to write interrogatories, two to settle, one to order a secretary to

change the bulb, and twenty-eight to bill for professional services.



How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, lawyers only screw us.