Old and New Jokes

Jam 29 tiny marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out.
Use your mastercard to pay your visacard.
Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.
When someone says, Have a nice day, tell them you have other plans.
Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like.
Forget weighless and send yourself a candygram.
Make a list of Things to do that you have already done.
Dance naked in front of your pets.
Fill your tax returns in roman numerals.
Tatoo Out to lunch on your forehead.
Leaf through a National Geographical and draw underwear on the natives.
Go shopping, buy everything, sweat in it and return it the next day.
Pay your electricity bill in one cent pieces.
Drive to work in reverse.
Polish your car with ear wax.
Read a dictionary upside down and look for secret messages.
Send your doctor a bill for the times you spend in his waiting room.
Start a nasty rumour and see if you recognise it when it comes back to you.
Braid the hair in each nostril.
Lie on your back eating celery, using your navel as a salt dipper.