Old and New Jokes

Picard: Sigma Indri, thats the star,
So, Data, please, how far? How far? Data: Our ship can get there very fast
But still the trip will last and last
Well have two days til we arrive
But can the Indrans there survive? Picard: LaForge, please give us factor nine. LaForge: But, sir, the engines are offline! Picard: Offline! But why? I want to go!
Please make it so, please make it so! Riker: But sir, if Geordi says we cant,
We cant, we mustnt, and we shant,
The danger here is far too great! Picard: But surely we must not be late! Troi: Im sensing anger and great ire. Computer: Alert! Alert! The ships on fire! Picard: The ships on fire? How could this be?
Who lit the fire? Riker: Not me. Worf: Not me. Picard: Computer, how long til we die? Computer: Eight minutes left to say goodbye. Data: May I suggest a course to take?
We could, I think, quite safely make
Extinguishers from tractor beams
And stop the fire, or so it seems… Geordi: Hurray! Hurray! Youve saved the day!
Again I say, Hurray! Hurray! Picard: Mr. Data, thank you much.
Youve saved our lives, our ship, and such. Troi: We still must save the Indran planet — Data: Which (by the way) is made of granite… Picard: Enough, you android. Please desist.
We understand — we get your gist.
But can we get our ship to go?
Please, make it so, PLEASE make it so. Geordi: Theres sabotage among the wires
And thats what started all the fires. Riker: We have a saboteur? Oh, no!
We need to go! We need to go! Troi: We must seek out the traitor spy
And lock him up and ask him why? Worf: Ask him why? How sentimental.
I say give him problems dental. Troi: Are any Romulan ships around?
Have scanners said that theyve been found?
Or is it Borg or some new threat
We havent even heard of yet?
I sense no malice in this crew.
Now what are we supposed to do? Crusher: Captain,