International sex

In France and Italy, people seduce each other.

In Brazil, they dont have seduction, they just have sex, and
are laid back about it in a way many uptight Englanders might
find loose-moraled.

In Sweden, they dont have seduction either. Any sex that may
occur usually happens during a discussion on Third World debt, or
the ozone layer, or something equally mind-broadening. Any
attempt to seduce a Swede will result in a patronising lecture
on safe sex.

In Singapore, they dont have seduction either. Ordinary people live
in towering government-built apartment blocks, most of which have
a social committee which receives funding from Singapores
government to throw parties to get the socially inept technocrats
to socialise and marry and have children to make more Chinese than
Malays and Indians (who have a higher birth rate). For the same
reason, the National University of Singapores Engineering faculty
is built next to the Accounting department, so the male engineers
meet the female accountants, get married, and have Chinese children.

South of Harlem and north of downtown Manhattan, and either
side of midtown, is where the rich whites live, and where
half the people are too busy to even think about something as
frivolous as romance, while the other half are too busy seeing
their shrinks because they cant find romance. Anyone they do
meet faces a barrage of questions about their career paths,
medical insurance plans, and past drug and divorce offenses.

People who live in Connecticut and upstate New York, who commute to
Manhattan every day (so-called mainline snobs because they
never use the subway) seduce each other on the train home,
where they scope each other out on the train for a few days,
then strike up a conversation a couple of minutes before one
of them gets off (so that if the other person
is an asshole, the conversation will shortly end anyway) and
arrange a lunch date back in Manhattan. This ensures that
rich professional mainline snobs mix with other rich professionals.

Near (but not in) Washington D.C., in the neighbouring suburbs in
Maryland and across the river in Virginia, the first thing single
people talk about having met an attractive potential partner
is politics. Tax-and-spend liberals wont go out with
Dickensian conservatives, gun nuts wont touch screaming
heart civil libertarians, lobbiests for oil companies wont
date lobbiests for clean air, and all the fine shades of political
opinion are more important than opinions about anything else,
physical attractiveness, intellectual prowess, and personality.

In Germany, people can talk about their emotions up-front and

SCENE: Frankfurt-am-Main, Germany
Helmut: So Hans, how is Helga these days?
Hans: Helga says that unless I stop sleeping around
and spend more time at home, shes going to
leave me and contest custody of the kids.
Helmut: I think Helga has a point – if you really loved
her, you wouldnt pay for Evas flat.
Hans: The first few years with Helga were great,
but I really dont love her any more.

People from other cultures find this Teutonic efficiency a little
bloodless and dehumanised, as if they discuss their emotions
like they discuss their shopping list, or desired options in
their new Opel.

In most of Australia, people are afraid to say what they think,
for fear of offending someone else and for someone else hurting
them. Instead, they talk about safe trivialities.

SCENE: Kensington, NSW
Warren: So Harry, how is Janet these days?
Harry: Shes been very strange lately. [Tense]
Warren: Oh? [Nervous tone of voice]
Harry: Yeah.
Warren: [Changing the subject] Hows the new Falcon?
Harry: Its alright, but typical Australian-made stuff….

Foreigners are shocked to find that the only way to seduce an
Australian is to pretend to be almost completely disinterested.
Any show of romantic interest will cause the
non-risk-taking Australian to go scurrying of to their friends
for security. Any effort to be warm, caring, and supportive
to an Australian woman will cause her to reciprocate only because
she thinks you must be gay, and thus free of emotional risks.

Most viewed Jokes (20)