A Nice Jewish Dog

A guy gets a new dog, a nice Jewish dog. So he calls him Irving.


He cant


wait to show him off to his neighbor, so when the neighbor


finally comes


over, the guy calls Irving into the house, bragging about how


smart he is.

The dog quickly comes running and stands looking up at his


master, tail


wagging excitedly, mouth open, tongue hanging out, eyes bright


with


anticipation.

The guy points to the newspaper by the door and commands Okay,


Irving,


Fetch!

Immediately, the dog climbs on to the couch and sits, his tail


wagging


furiously. Then all of a sudden, he stops. His doggie smile


disappears. He


starts to frown and puts on a sour face.

Looking up at his master, he whines, You think this is easy,


wagging my


tail all the time? Oy … This constant wagging of the tail puts


me in


such pain, you should only know! And you think its easy eating


that dreck


you call designer dog food. Forget it…its too salty and it


gives me


gas. And also the runs, but what do you care? Why dont you try


it if you


think its so good? You try it. Dreck I say! Then you push me


out the door


to take care of my business, twice a day. Its disgusting I tell


you! And


when was the last time you took me for a nice long walk? I cant


remember


when!

The neighbor is absolutely amazed … stunned. In astonishment,


he says,


I cant believe it. Irving can speak. Your dog actually talks.


Here he is


sitting on the sofa talking to us.

I know, I know. says the owner. Hes not yet fully trained


yet. He


thought I said, Kvetch.