Kosher Millionaire

You have been selected to play So You Wouldnt Mind Being a Kosher Millionaire…You Should Only Live So Long. You have three lifelines to help you, as follows:

1. You may call a Rabbi for his opinion.


2. You may ask the congregation for their opinion.


3. You may consider your spouses opinion … or not.

Bonus lifeline! Whether you ask for it or not, your Mother will give you her opinion.

Lets play…

For $100

Q. What is the name of the Russian Space Station that crashed and burned on re-entry?


A. Oy Vey is Mir

For $200

Q. How does a Jewish woman call her family to dinner?


A. All right, everybody get in the car.

For $500

Q. Who is Israels favorite Internet provider?


A. Netanyahoo.

For $1,000

Q. What is the name of a facial lotion made for Jewish women?


A. Oil of Oy Vey.

For $2,000

Q. What is the title of the new horror film for Jewish women?


A. Debbie Does Windows

For! !$4,000

Q. What is the technical term for a Jewish woman who catches her husband in the act with his secretary?


A. The Plaintiff.

For $8,000

Q. How does a Jewish kid verbally abuse his playmates?


A. Nyah, nyah, your mother pays retail.

For $16,000

Q. In the Jewish doctrine, when does the fetus become human?


A. When it graduates from medical school.

For $32,000

Q. What do Jewish women do to keep their hands soft and nails long and beautiful?


A. Nothing.

For $64,000

Q. Define Genius.


A. A C student with a Jewish mother.

For $125,000

Q. How do you know when a Jewish woman is about to have an orgasm?


A. She puts down her nail file.

For $250,000

Q. When should a Moyel retire?


A. When he cant cut it anymore.

For $500,000

Q. If Tarzan and Jane were Jewish, what would Cheetah be?


A. A fur coat.

For $1,000,000

Q. What is the difference between a Jewish Grandmother and an Italian Grandmother?


A. The accent.