TEACHER: Jack, how old are you on your last birthday?

JACK: 7 years old

TEACHER: How old are you going to be on your next birthday?

JACK: 9 years old

TEACHER: Thats impossible!

JACK: No its not. Im 8 today.

TEACHER: Mike, go to the map and show me where America is.

MIKE: Here it is !

TEACHER: Good. Now class, who discovered America?

CLASS: Mike !!!

TEACHER: Didnt you promise to behave?

STUDENT: Yes sir.

TEACHER: And didnt I promise to punish you when you misbehave?

STUDENT: Yes sir. But since I didnt keep my promise, you dont need to keep yours.

COOL STUDENT: Teacher would you punish me for something I didnt do?

TEACHER: No.

COOL STUDENT: Good cos I didnt do my homework.

TEACHER: Alfred, name one important thing that we have today and we dont 10 years ago.

ALFRED: Me !!!

TEACHER: Are you chewing gum?

BILLY: No. Im Billy Anderson.

TEACHER: In this box I have a 10-foot snake.

STUDENT: You cant fool me teacher ! Snakes dont have feet !!!

HYGIENE TEACHER: How do you prevent deseases from biting insects?

WILLY: Dont bite any.

TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence using the word I

ELLEN: I is….

TEACHER: No Ellen always use I am.

ELLEN: Oh, alright. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.