Old and New Jokes

42. Wear A LOT of putrid smelling cologne or perfume.43. Spill that same cologne or perfume on their book.44. Put down your book, then say, “Hey, ya wanna trade?”45. Bring a recording of very obnoxious music, and hide it in a bag. Turn it up full blast, and accuse them of having it. Keep accusing them, then get the librarian to come. When they find it in your bag, yell, “IT WAS PLANTED ON ME I TELL YOU!!!!! IT’S NOT MY FAULT!! IT’S A GOVERNMENT CONSPIRACY!! ALIENS BEAMED IT INTO MY BAG!!! IT’S BECAUSE I DIDN’T LET THEM DO EXPERIMENTS ON ME!!”46. Without looking away from your book, say to no one in particular, “I know what you did last summer.”47. Bring a piece of bread, and drop pieces of it down the little hole in the center of the table meant for cords.48. While reading your book, start humming a single note until you’re out of breath, then collapse on the floor. Then get back up, and continue reading like nothing happened.49. Start singing “This is the song that never ends. . .”50. While placing small pieces of bread in a line, count one, two, three. . ., and lose count every ten or so.51. Bring a recording of a popular song. Play it on headphones quietly, but sing along very badly. Then say to the person next to you, “I took singing lessons!”52. Turn to the person sitting next to you and say to them, “Hey! How ya doin’? That’s great, me too.”53. Instead of a laptop, bring your entire computer!54. While working at a laptop, suddenly stand up, and announce to every one, “I have mail!!”55. Start staring at the person, and when you have their attention, announce, “I measure sock by thickness!”56. Turn to the person next to you, and ask them to pronounce their name backwards. When they ask you why, tell them that you are looking for hidden messages.57. State proudly that you have been to the ‘other’ side. Give no explanation.58. Suddenly grasp your heart, let out a wail, and fall to the ground. Then get