How do you know if youre in love, in lust, or really married?



LOVE – When your eyes meet across a crowded room.

LUST – When your tongues meet across a crowded room.

MARRIAGE – When you lose your child in crowded room.



LOVE – When intercourse is called making love.

LUST – When intercourse is called screwing.

MARRIAGE – What the hell are you talking about?



LOVE – When you argue over how many children to have.

LUST – When you argue over who gets the wet spot.

MARRIAGE – When you argue over money.



LOVE – When you share everything you own.

LUST – When you steal everything they own.

MARRIAGE – When the bank owns everything.



LOVE – When it doesnt matter if you dont climax.

LUST – When the relationship is over if you dont climax.

MARRIAGE – Whats a climax?



LOVE – When you phone each other just to say, Hi.

LUST – When you phone each other to pick a hotel room.

MARRIAGE – When you phone each other to bitch.



LOVE – When you write poems about your partner.

LUST – When all you write is your phone number.

MARRIAGE – When all you write is checks.



LOVE – When you show concern for your partners feelings.

LUST – When you couldnt give a shit.

MARRIAGE – When your only concern is whats on TV.



LOVE – When your farewell is I love you, darling…

LUST – When your farewell is So, same time next week…

MARRIAGE – When your farewell is a relief.



LOVE – When you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.

LUST – When you only see each other naked.

MARRIAGE – When you never see each other awake.



LOVE – When your heart flutters everytime you see them.

LUST – When your groin twitches everytime you see them.

MARRIAGE – When your wallet empties everytime you see them.



LOVE – When nobody else matters.

LUST – When nobody else knows.

MARRIAGE – When everybody else matters and you dont care who knows.



LOVE – When all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel.

LUST – When the song on the radio determines how you do it.

MARRIAGE – When you listen to talk radio.



LOVE – When breaking up is something you try not to think about.

LUST – When staying together is something you try not to think about.

MARRIAGE – When just getting through today is your only thought.



LOVE – When youre only interested in doing things with your partner.

LUST – When youre only interested in doing things TO your partner.

MARRIAGE – When youre only interested in your golf score.