A lady walks into a bar and says, Barkeep, gimme a martooni. The bartender goes back and fixes her a martini. She downs it and says, Barkeep, gimme another martooni. So he goes back and fixes her another martini. She downs that, and just sits there and doesnt say anything. Finally after about 10 minutes bartender says, Would you like another? She says, Oh, no, I got this terrible heartburn.
The bartender says, Okay, there are three things wrong here:
Number 1: Its martini, not martooni.
Number 2: Its bartender, not barkeep, and
Number 3: Youre not having heartburn, your boobs in the ash tray.