This was actually posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas website by an
employee there who obviously has a sense of humor. The company, of course, does
not (have a sense of humor) and made the web department take it down
immediately.

Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to
protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty
registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the
information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and
desires.

[_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Lt. [_] Gen. [_] Comrade [_] Classified

First Name: _______________ Initial: __ Last Name: _______________

Code Name: __________ Password: ________ (max 8 char)

Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ____ ____ ____

Which model aircraft did you purchase?

[_] F-14 Tomcat

[_] F-15 Eagle

[_] F-16 Falcon

[_] F-117A Stealth

[_] Classified

Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): 19../../..

Serial Number: _________________________

Please check where this product was purchased:

[_] Received as gift / aid package

[_] Catalog showroom

[_] Independent arms broker

[_] Mail order

[_] Discount store

[_] Government surplus

[_] Classified

Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have
just purchased:

[_] Heard loud noise, looked up

[_] Store display

[_] Espionage

[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally

[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer

[_] Was attacked by one

Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision to
purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:

[_] Speed / maneuverability

[_] Price / value

[_] Comfort / convenience

[_] Kickback / bribe

[_] Recommended by salesperson

[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation

[_] Advanced Weapons Systems

[_] Backroom politics

[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat

Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:

[_] Iraq

[_] North America

[_] Central / South America

[_] Iraq

[_] Europe

[_] Africa

[_] Iraq

[_] Asia / Far East

[_] Misc. Third World countries

[_] Iraq

[_] Aircraft carrier

[_] Classified

How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Check all that
apply):

[_] Communist / Socialist

[_] Terrorist

[_] Crazed

[_] Neutral

[_] Democratic

[_] Dictatorship

[_] Corrupt

[_] Primitive / Tribal

Your occupation:

[_] Homemaker

[_] Sales / marketing

[_] Revolutionary

[_] Clerical

[_] Mercenary

[_] Tyrant

[_] Middle management

[_] Eccentric billionaire

[_] Defense Minister / General

[_] Retired

[_] Student

To help us understand our customers lifestyles, please indicate the
interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a
regular basis:

[_] Golf

[_] Boating / sailing

[_] Running / jogging

[_] Sabotage

[_] Propaganda / disinformation

[_] Destabilization / overthrow

[_] Black market / smuggling

[_] Collectibles / collections

[_] Watching sports on TV

[_] Interrogation / torture

[_] Household pets

[_] Crushing rebellions

[_] Espionage / reconnaissance

[_] Border disputes

[_] Mutually Assured Destruction

[_] Fashion clothing

Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will
be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in
the future – as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from
other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.

As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a brand
new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!