Old and New Jokes

A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. Finally, a reward was offered for his capture, and an enterprising Texas ranger decided to track him down. After a lengthy search, he traced the bandit to his favorite cantina, snuck up behind him, put his trusty six-shooter to the bandits head, and said, Youre under arrest. Tell me where you hid the loot or Ill blow your brains out. But the bandit didnt speak English, and the Ranger didnt speak Spanish. Fortunately, a bilingual lawyer was in the saloon and translated the Rangers message. The terrified bandit blurted out, in Spanish, that the loot was buried under the oak tree in back of the cantina.What did he say? asked the Ranger. The lawyer answered, He said Screw you, Asshole. You wouldnt dare shoot me.