New Computer Viruses!

John Bobbit Virus–

Removes a vital part of your hard disk and then re-attaches it. (But it will never work again.)

•Oprah Winfrey Virus–

Your 850 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 200 MB, and then slowly expands back to 850 MB.

•Politically Correct Virus–

Never calls itself a virus, but instead refers to itself as an electronic micro-organism.

•Right to Life Virus–

Wont allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a counselor about possible alternatives.

•Government Economist Virus–

Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.

•Federal Bureaucrat Virus–

Divides your hard disk into thousands of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer.

•AT&T Virus–

Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

•MCI Virus– Every 3 minutes it reminds you that you are paying too much for the AT&T Virus.

•Sprint Virus–

Every 3 minutes it tells you that its better than the AT&T and MCI Virus.

•PBS Virus–

Your computer stops every few minutes to ask for money.

•Health Care Virus–

Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong with it, and sends you a bill for $4,500.

•New York Jets Virus–

Makes your Pentium II 266 MHz computer perform like a 12 MHz 286 computer.

•LAPD Virus–

It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases them in self-defense.

•O.J. Virus–

Claims that it did not, could not, and would not delete two of your most important files and vows to find the virus that did it.

•Ross Perot Virus–

Activates every component in your system, just before the whole damn thing quits.

•Ted Turner Virus–

Colorizes your monochrome monitor.

•Dan Quayle Virus–

Their is sumthing rong wit yourre komputer, we jsut cant figyour out watt.

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