New Languages Recognized By The Oakland School Board

Ebonics: Why we be talkin like you? Is you listening

Redneconics: Taint sure, Clem, baa I think he
said he wanns to rape all the white women. Less git em!

Blueblonics: I say, Tad, what are they fighting
about now? You know I cant make out a word mumsys servants say.

911onics: Im sorry, wheres the emergency? I cant
understand a thing youre saying.

Coponics: Youre all under arrest under Section
1929 of the penal code. Sergeant, get those blacks and rednecks in
front of the firing squad, the women in the back seat of the patrol
car, and issue Mr. Tadington a ticket.

Dowonics: 1929? Im sorry, I dont understand.

Moronics: National Aglet is at 1929? Buy more!
Were going over 68 today!

Globalecononics: Were sorry Mrs. Jones, we know
youve worked here at National Aglet for 68 years. But you must
understand that a 14 year old Thai girl is simply a more desirable

Tvnewonics: … and police say they dont know
why the 85 year old grandmother was so distraught. When we return,
more good news from Wall Street, as the Dow sets another new
record. Well have an in-depth look after these messages.

Towerofbabelonics: Although I must admit, Tad,
that it tis a blessing the workers CANT talk to each other, or they
might figure out that theres no staircase in the blueprints.

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