Theres a man in a wheelchair with no arms and no legs sitting by a lake. Several beautiful women are running laps around it and the man decides to use his disability to get affection from one of them. The next time one runs by him, the man calls to her:

Excuse me Sweetheart, I have no arms and I have no legs. Will you hug me?

She looks around to make sure nobodys watching, leans down, and hugs him.

The man thinks, Wow, I cant believe that worked!, and decides to try it again.

Another woman runs by him, and he calls out to her: Excuse me Darling, I have no arms and I have no legs. Will you kiss me?

She looks around to make sure nobody is watching, leans down and gives him a kiss.

The man is amazed at how well this is working out for him!

The next time a woman runs by, he calls out to her: Excuse me Beautiful, I have no arms and I have no legs. Will you f**k me?

The woman looks around to make sure nobodys watching her, leans down, picks the man up out of his chair, throws him in the lake and tells him:

There… now youre f**ked!