Old is when…

…your sweetie says, Lets go upstairs and make love, and you answer, Honey, I cant do both!

…your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and youre

barefoot.

…a sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage

door nearest your car.

…you remember when the Dead Sea was only sick.

…going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

…you dont care where your spouse goes, just as long as you dont

have to go along.

…when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

…when you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the

police.

…getting a little action means I dont need to take any fiber today.

…getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

… an all nighter means not getting up to pee!

Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to

every man. Isnt that an ironic time for a guy to get those odds?

Someone has described heaven as a family reunion that never ends.

What could hell possibly be like? Home videos of the same reunion?