Old and New Jokes

A man returned home from the night shift and went straight up to the bedroom. He found his wife with the sheet pulled over her head, fast asleep. Not to be denied, the horny husband crawled under the sheet and proceeded to make love to her. Afterward, as he hurried downstairs for something to eat, he was startled to find breakfast on the table and his wife pouring coffee.Howd you get down her so fast? he asked. We were just making love! Oh my God, his wife gasped, Thats my mother up there! She came over early and had complained of having a headache. I told her to lie down for awhile.Rushing upstairs, the wife ran to the bedroom. Mother, I cant believe this happened. Why didnt you say something? The mother-in-law huffed, I havent spoken to that jerk for fifteen years, and I wasnt about to start now!