Una pareja muy moderna de recien casados, decidió dormir en habitaciones separadas para no tener que soportar el mal aliento por las mañanas. Un amigo de la pareja le pregunta a la mujer:
Oye, MarÃa, y cuando Paco tiene ganas de sexo, ¿qué hace?
Pues, sale al pasillo y silba.
Oye, y si eres tú la que tiene ganas, ¿qué haces?
Pues salgo al pasillo y pregunto: ¡PACOOOO! ¿has silbado?
Va un chico con su novia en el auto rumbo al cine cuando, de repente, se empieza a poner caliente la cosa y comienza a acariciarle las piernas. En eso pasa una patrulla de tránsito y lo detiene.
¿Qué pasa oficial?
¿Qué no sabe que se debe hacer con las dos manos?
¡Qué más quisiera oficial, pero vengo conduciendo el auto!
Q: Whats the Blondes cheer?
A: Im blonde, Im blonde, Im B.L.O.N….ah, oh well.. Im blonde, Im blonde, yea yea yea…
There is nothing so asinine that it wont be used in a TV commercial.
Q: How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose?
A: Her ankles swell up when she farts.
Three doctors died and went to the Pearly Gates to be interviewed to see where they would end up. St. Peter asked the first one what he did on earth, and he said he was an obstetrician. St. Peter asked what an obstetrician did and the doc told him. Sounds pretty good; okay you can go in to Heaven.
The second doc said he was a pediatrician and had to explain what that involved. St. Peter said, Sounds very useful, very good–you can go in too.
The third doc said he was the chief man in charge of a whole HMO conglomerate.
Well, whats that? asked St. Peter.
So the doc told him exactly what that involved.
Sounds very important, very useful. You can go in too.
So the third doc goes in the Gates and starts to walk up the stairs. St. Peter turns and calls after him, Oh, by the way, you can only stay three days.
Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter.
Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one.
As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong.
Gasping for breath, she replied, When I see two gas men running as hard as you two were, I figured Id better run too!
Your momma so stupid that when she goes on wheel of fortune she buys
a seven!
Chip – Yer cusins uncles mothers boyfriends name.
Q: How many alien life forms does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Yeah, wouldnt the guys at SETI like to know *that*!
Note: SETI = Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence.