This law was inadvertently left blank.
31
Dec
31
Dec
To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
31
Dec
There are two things on earth that are universal: hydrogen and stupidity.
31
Dec
As they say in Beirut, Shiite happens.
31
Dec
The hardest thing in life to learn is which bridge to cross and which to burn.
31
Dec
When you are dating….. Farting is never an issue
When you are married ….You make sure theres nothing flammable near your husband…… at all time
When you are dating….. He takes you out to have a good time
When you are married ….He brings home a 6 pack, and says What are you going to drink?
When you are dating….. He holds your hand in public
When you are married ….He flicks your ear in public
When you are dating….. A Single bed for 2 isnt THAT bad
When you are married ….A King size bed feels like an army cot
When you are dating….. You are turned on at the sight of him naked
When you are married ….You think to yourself….Was he ALWAYS this hairy????
When you are dating….. You enjoyed foreplay
When you are married ….You tell him If we have sex, will you leave me alone???
When you are dating….. He hugs you, when he walks by you …for no reason
When you are married ….He grabs your boob any chance he gets
When you are dating….. You picture the two of you together, growing old together
When you are married ….You wonder who will die first
When you are dating….. Just looking at him makes you feel all mushy
When you are married ….When you look at him, you want to claw his eyes out.
When you are dating….. He knows what the hamper is
When you are married ….The floor will suffice as a dirty clothes storage area
When you are dating….. He understands if you arent in the mood
When you are married ….He says Its your job.
When you are dating….. He understands that you have male friends
When you are married ….He thinks they are all out to steal you away
When you are dating….. He likes to discuss things
When you are married ….He develops a blank stare
When you are dating….. He calls you by name
When you are married ….He calls you Hey and refers to you when speaking to others as She.
31
Dec
Actions Law: Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely.
31
Dec
Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion of the test both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Murphy and said.
Manager: Thank you for your interest, but weve decided to give the American the job
Murphy: And why would you be doing that? We both got nine questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish I should get the job!
Manager: We have made our decisions not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed.
Murphy: And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?
Manager: Simple, the American put down on question #5, I dont know., You put down Neither do I.
31
Dec
Never buy from a rich salesman.
31
Dec
Finagles Rules: 1) To study an application best, understand it thoroughly before you start. 2) Always keep a record of data. It indicates youve been working. 3) Always draw your curves, then plot the reading. 4) In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.