It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
31
Dec
31
Dec
Ozmans Laws: (1) If someone says he will do something without fail, he wont. (2) The more people talk on the phone, the less money they make. (3) People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldnt. (4) Pizza always burns the roof of your mouth.
31
Dec
A young girl is wandering through a park in the pouring rain, when she comes across 3 dogs. Being a bit of an animal lover, she approaches them, bends down and starts to stroke one of them: Ah, youre lovely, arent you? she says to the first dog. Whats your name? To her surprise, the dog actually answers her, My names Huey, and Ive had a great day going in and out of puddles.
Delighted with this discovery, she moves on to the next dog. And whats your name then? Again, unbelievably, the 2nd dog answers her, My names Lewy, and Ive had a great day going in and out of puddles. And so she moves on to the last dog. Let me guess, she says. your names Dewy, and youve had a great day going in and out of puddles.
No, replies the last dog. My names Puddles, and Ive had an awful day!
31
Dec
Just about the time when your income gets to the point where food prices dont matter, calories do.
31
Dec
Afternoon: that part of the day we spend worrying about how we wasted the morning.
31
Dec
No problem is so formidable that you cant just walk away from it.
31
Dec
This womans husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, You know what? You have been with me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side… You know what?
What dear, she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
I think youre bad luck…..
31
Dec
When someone says this is as bad as it can get, dont bet on it.
31
Dec
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
31
Dec
If you cannot hope for order, withdraw with style from the chaos.