Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them. The beech says to the birch: Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch? But the birch says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch? The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies: It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in!
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Dec
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Dec
Second guy: Why doesnt he just buy one? Its faster.
13
Dec
Flatman and Ribbon.
12
Dec
The best advice for teenagers is, leave home now while you still know everything.
I really feel sorry for Madonnas baby, having to grow without a last name.
Is it a law of nature that women have to sneeze as soon as they apply their mascara?
The two biggest problems in America are making ends meet and making meetings end.
What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way.
12
Dec
The money clip of the 90s will be a penny stuck in a paper clip.
12
Dec
One advantage Clinton has over past presidents is that doesnt have to worry about how much time he should spend on his re-election campaign.
12
Dec
La esposa se ausenta del hogar por algunos dÃas porque debe ir a otra ciudad a cuidar a su madre enferma y deja a la empleada MarÃa Soledad al cuidado de la casa. Al retornar, pregunta a su hijo qué tal lo habÃan pasado, y éste dice:
El miércoles hubo una horrible tempestad con truenos, rayos y relámpagos, y a mà me dio tanto miedo que MarÃa Soledad vino y durmió con yo.
Conmigo, corrige el padre.
¡No, eso fue el jueves!
12
Dec
Q: How do you know if a lawyer is lieing
A: If his mouth moves.
12
Dec
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesnt seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: ¡§My friend is dead! What can I do?¡¨ The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: ¡§Just take it easy. I can help. First, lets make sure hes dead.¡¨ There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guys voice comes back on the line. He says: ok, now what?
12
Dec
Remember the golden rule: Those that have the gold make the rules.