Three guys were taking needles, two Americans and an [ethnic] guy.
The first American takes the drug and hands the needle to the second
American who cleans the needle, takes the drug and hands it to the [ethnic]
guy.
The [ethnic] guy takes the drug without cleaning the needle.
The two Americans yell at the [ethnic] guy, telling him he can get aids
from using a dirty needle.
The [ethnic] guy says No I cant. Im wearing a condom
How do you sink an [ethnic] submarine?
Put it into water.
– Because they have smelly feet.
If shes still ugly, have another beer.
Yo mama so dumb she jumped out a window and got stuck in mid air.
Signs Youve Eaten Too Much
As presented on the 11/29/96 broadcast of LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN
Bill and Derek are out walking their dogs. Bill has a German shepherd, while Derek is trailing with his Chihuahua. Theyve been out for a while and Bill suggests stopping in at cafe for some coffee.
We cant go in there with the dogs, replies Derek.
Sure we can, says Bill. Just follow my lead.
Bill puts on his sunglasses and walks into Starbucks. A barrista stops him and says, Sir, you cant bring a dog in here.
This is my seeing-eye dog, says Bill, and the barrista lets him in.
Derek watches this exchange, shrugs and puts on his sunglasses. The same barrista meets him as soon as he gets in the door. Sir, you cant bring a dog in here.
This is my seeing-eye dog, says Derek.
Skeptically, the barrista says, Your seeing-eye dog is a Chihuahua?
They gave me a CHIHUAHUA?!
A: Under 17 not admitted!
A Priest, a Nun, and a Camel are crossing the desert.
The camel falls dead.
Before I die the father says, I would like to see a woman naked. So the nun takes off all her clothes.
She then says, before I die i would like to see a man naked. So the father takes off his clothes. She looks at his penis and says, My God!! What is that for?
He says You stick it in a hole and it brings forth life.
The nun replies, Then how about you stick it up that camels ass and lets get the hell out of here!
Two guys are on duty at a french foreign legion fort. One says to the other one, See that camel over there? Ill bet you I can make him jump 30 feet in the air.
The other guy says No way.
The first guy walks around to the back of the camel with two bricks, reaches in between the camels legs and crashes the bricks together. The camel jumps 30 feet in the air.
A couple of days later the first guy says to the second guy, I bet you I can make that camel nod his head yes, then shake his head no.
The second guy says, You got me last time, but theres no way you can make that dumb animal nod his head yes then shake it no.
The first guy takes the same two bricks, walks around to the front of the camel, holds up the bricks and says, Remember what I did last time?. (Camel nods). Want me to do it again?