YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF:

Your grandmother has ever been asked to leave the bingo hall because of her language
your entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the Governor to spare a loved one
youve ever raked leaves in your kitchen
your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-In Theater
you call the time you won a free case of motor oil as the day my ship came in
you clean your fingernails with a stick
you hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice