Top 17 fatal things to say if your wife is pregnant:
17. I finished the Oreos.
16. Not to imply anything, but I dont think the kid weighs 40 pounds.
15. Yknow, looking at her, youd never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby..!!
14. I sure hope your thighs arent gonna stay that flabby forever!
13. Well, couldnt they induce labor ? The 25th is the Super Bowl.
12. Darned if you aint about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella.
11. Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, thats gotta hurt.
10. Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!
9. Im jealous! Why cant men experience the joy of childbirth?
8. Are your ankles supposed to look like that?
7. Get your *own* ice cream.
6. Geez, youre awfully puffy looking today.
5. Got milk ?
4. Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney.
3. Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!
2. Retaining water ? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water…
And the Number 1 Fatal Thing To Say If Your Wife Is Pregnant:
1. You dont have the guts to pull that trigger…