Q: Whats the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?

A: A bad golfer goes, WHACK! Damn. A bad skydiver goes, Damn. WHACK!

Q: What do you call skydiving lawyers?

A: Skeet.

Q: Why dont blind people like to sky dive?

A: Because it scares the dog.

Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?

A: They take the psycho path.

Q: How do you get holy water?

A: Boil the hell out of it.

Q: What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall?

A: Dam!

Q: What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?

A: Polaroids.

Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesnt work?

A: A stick.

Q: What do you call cheese that isnt yours?

A: Nacho Cheese.

Q: What do you call Santas helpers?

A: Subordinate Clauses.

Q: What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?

A: Quatro sinko.

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

A: Frostbite.

Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A: A nervous wreck.

Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs?

A: Right where you left him.

Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?

A: Because they have big fingers

Q: What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?

A: Sanka.

Q: Why does a pilgrims pants always fall down?

A: Because they wear their belt buckle on their hat.

Q: How are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce the same?

A: Somebodys gonna lose a trailer.