Reasons its great to be a guy

– Phone conversations are over in thrity seconds flat.

– When clicking through the channel, you dnt have to stall on every shot of someone crying.

– You know stuff about tanks.

– A five-day vacation requres only one suitcase.

– You dont have to monitor your friends sex lives.

– Your bathroom lines are 80 percent shorter

– You can open all your own jars.

– Old friends dont give you crap if youve lost or gained weight.

– Dry cleaners and haircutters dont rob you blind

– A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.

– You dont have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.

– You can leave a hotel bed unmade.

– When your work is criticized, you dont have to panic that everyone secretly hates you

– The garage is all yours.

– You can be showered and ready in ten minutes.

– Wedding plans take care of themselves.

– If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

– Your underwear costs $10 for a three-pack.

– None of your coworkers has the power to make you cry.

– You dont have to shave below your neck.

– If youre thrity-four and single, nobody notices.

– Everything on your face stays its original color.

– Chocolate is just another snack.

– Flowers fix everything.

– Three pairs of shoes are more than enough

– Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.

– You dont have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by.

– Car mechanics tell you the truth.

– You dont care whether anybody notices your new haircut.

– You can watch a game in silence with your buddy for hours without even thinking, he must be made at me.

– You never miscontrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you

– One mood, all the time.

– You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.

– You can site with yoru kees apart no matter what you are wearing.

– Gray hair and wrinkles add character

– You dont care if someone is talking about you behind your back.

– You dont mooch off others desserts

– If you retain water, its in a canteen

– The remote is yours and yours alone

– People never glance at your chest when you are talking to them

– You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift

– Bachelor parties have it all over bridal showers

– You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother

– If you dont call your buddy when you say you will, he wont tell your friends youve changed

– If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies

– You dont have to remember birthdays and anniversaries for everyone you know.

– Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: So . . . Notice anything different?

There is always a game on somewhere

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