28
Jun

Redneck quickies 36

You might be a redneck if…

You see a sign that says bridge out and you try to jump it.

You go to your local pet shop for a cat scan.

Warp drive describes the condition of your car.

Your smoke detector doubles as your dinner bell.

You go to the dentist for a Tooth Cleaning.

You pull up to a gas station in a limo to buy a can of Skoal.

Your boyfriend gives you car parts for your birthday and you like it.

Coons get into everyone elses trash but yours.

When you say, Lets hit the hay, you actually MEAN it.

You can feed a family of five on ONE McDonalds Extra Value Meal.

Your kids LIKE the Arch Deluxe hamburger at McDonalds.

You have a clawfoot bathtub.

Youve ever been arrested for bootleggin.

You spell out NASCAR in Christmas lights.

Your idea of good fishing involves the use of a boat, a net and dynamite.

Burger King wont let you do it your way, right away.

You can remember the entire NASCAR series schedule but cant remember your wife’s birthday, kids birthday, or anniversary.

You can remember every NASCAR driver and their car number but cant remember how old your children are.

Your idea of going to see a play involves goal posts.

You think a computer hacker carries an axe.

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