A depressed young woman from a Manhattan finishing school was so desperate that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean.

When she went down to the docks, a handsome young sailor noticed her tears, took pity on her, and said, Look, youve got a lot to live for. Im off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. Ill take good care of you and bring you food every day.

Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, Ill keep you happy, and youll keep me happy.

The girl nodded. What did she have to lose?

That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.

Three weeks later, during a routine search, she was discovered by the captain. What are you doing here? he asked.

I had an arrangement with one of the sailors, she explained. Hes taking me to Europe, and every night he came and screwed me.

He sure did, lady, said the captain. This is the Staten Island Ferry.