Old and New Jokes

It was time for Father Johns Saturday night bath and young Sister Magdalene Edwards had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old nun had instructed. Sister Magdalene Edwards was also instructed not to look at Fr. Johns nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told her to do, and pray.

The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the Saturday night bath had done.



Oh, sister, said the young nun dreamily.Ive been saved.



Saved? And how did that fine thing come about? asked the old nun.



Well, when Fr. John was soaking in the tub, he asked me to wash him, and while I was washing him he guided my hand down between his legs where he said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven.



Did he now, said the old nun evenly.



Sister Magdalene continued, And Fr. John said that if the Key to Heaven fit my lock, the portals of Heaven would be opened to me and I would be assured of salvation and eternal peace. And then Father John guided his Key to Heaven into my lock.



Is that a fact, said the old nun even more evenly.



At first it hurt terribly, but Fr. John said the pathway to salvation was often painful and that the glory of God would soon swell my heart with ecstasy. And it did, it felt so good being saved.



That wicked old Devil, said the old nun. He told me it was Gabriels Horn, and Ive been blowing it for 40 years!