[Ed: I swore no more of these, but this one is by an expert, it claims.]

I sent the Shit Happens in Various Religions to my friend John Stark,
who happens to have a PhD in Religious Studies. A week later he sent
me his revised version, which is pretty serious, but also pretty funny.

TAOISM: Shit Happens, so flow with it.

CONFUCIANISM: Confucius says, If shit has to happen, let it happen properly.

BUDDHISM: If shit happens, it isnt really happening to anyone.

HINDUISM: This shit happening is you.

PROTESTANTISM: If shit happens, praise the Lord for it!

JUDAISM: Why does shit always happen just before closing the deal?

ISLAM: Shit happening is Allahs Will.

EXISTENTIALISM: Shit happening is absurd!

ZEN: What is the sound of shit happening?