In the front yard of a funeral home, Drive carefully, well wait.

On an electricians truck, Let us remove your shorts.

Outside a radiator repair shop, Best place in town to take a leak.

In a non-smoking area, If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.

On a maternity room door, Push, Push, Push.

On a front door, Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog.

At an optometrists office, If you dont see what youre looking for, youve come to the right place.

On a taxidermists window, We really know our stuff.

On a butchers window, Let me meat your needs.

On a butchers window, You can beat our prices, but you cant beat our meat.

On a fence, Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive.

At a car dealership, The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment.

Outside a muffler shop, No appointment necessary. Well hear you coming.

In a dry cleaners emporium, Drop your pants here.

On a desk in a reception room, We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left.

In a veterinarians waiting room, Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

At the electric company, We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you dont, you will be.

In a Beauty Shop, Dye now!

In a Beauty Shop, We curl up and Dye for you.

On the side of a garbage truck, Weve got what it takes to take what youve got. (Burglars please copy.)

In a restaurant window, Dont stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.

Inside a bowling alley, Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.

In a cafeteria, Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.