Sports commentators brilliant observations

An inch or two either side of the post and that would have been a goal.

– Dave Bassett, Sky Sports

Ardiles strokes the ball like it is part of his own anatomy.

– Jimmy Magee, RTE

Gary always weighed up his options, especially when he had no choice.

– Kevin Keegan, Radio 5 live

This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother.

– Ted Walsh ( Horse Racing Commentator)

I would not say he ( David Ginola) is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better.

– Ron Atkinson

He dribbles a lot and the opposition dont like it – you can see it all over their faces.

– Ron Atkinson

I never comment on referees and Im not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat.

– Ron Atkinson

It took a lot of bottle for Tony (Adams) to own up.

– Ian Wright commenting on his teammates alcoholism)

I couldnt settle in Italy – it was like living in a foreign country.

– Ian Rush

Ah, isnt that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew.

– Harry Carpenter (BBC TV Boat Race 1977)

Here we are in the Holy Land of Israel – a Mecca for tourists.

– David Vine

Morcelli has four fastest 1500-metre times ever. And all those times are at 1500 metres.

– David Coleman

Julian Dicks is everywhere. Its like theyve got eleven Dicks on the field.

– Metro Radio

… and later we will have action from the mens coxless pairs …

– Sue Barker

Her time is about 4.33, which shes capable of.

– David Coleman

Dennis Pennis: Have you ever thought of writing your autobiography?

Chris Eubank: On what?

Sex is an anti-climax after that!

– Grand National winning jockey Mark Fitzgerald

Well, you gave the horse a wonderful ride, everybody saw that

– Desmond Lynam

To play Holland, you have to play the Dutch.

– Ruud Gullit

Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.

– Ron Atkinson

For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip

– John Motson

Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer.

– David Acfield

What will you do when you leave football, Jack – will you stay in football?

– Stuart Hall (Radio 5 live)

Well still be happy if we lose. Its on at the same time as the Beer Festival

– Noel O Mahony, Cork City boss before the game in Munich

Id like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona

– Mark Draper (Aston Villa)

There goes Juantorena down the backstraight, opening his legs and showing his class

– David Coleman at The Montreal Olympics

And for those of you who watched the last programme (Fanny and Johnny Craddock), I hope all your doughnuts turn out like Fannys

– David Coleman at the start of Match of The Day

… and Ray Illingworth is relieving himself in front of the pavilion

– John Arlott

These greens are so fast they must bikini wax them

– Gary McCord – on the greens at Augusta

One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee-shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them – Oh my God, what have I just said?

– USTV commentator

Theyll be watching him (Mike Tyson) with a fine toothcomb from now on

– CNN Sports commentator

Most viewed Jokes (20)