Star Wars Alternative Ending

A furious lightsaber duel is underway. Darth Vader is backing Luke Skywalker
towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader chops off Lukes hand!
It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks
around, but realizes theres nowhere to go but straight down.

Darth Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father.

Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!

Darth Vader: No… I am your father!

Luke: No, its not true! Its impossible.

Darth Vader: Search your feelings… you know it to be true…

Luke: No!

Darth Vader: Yes, it is true.. and you know what else? You know that brass
droid of yours?

Luke: Threepio?

Darth Vader: Yes… Threepio… I built him… when I was 7 years old…

Luke: No…

Darth Vader: Seven years old? And what have you done? Look at yourself, no
hand, no job, and couldnt even levitate your own ship out of the swamp…

Luke: I destroyed your precious Death Star!

Darth Vader: When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed a
Trade Federation Droid Control ship!

Luke: Well, its not my fault…

Darth Vader: Oh, here we go… Poor me… my father never gave me what
I wanted for my birthday… boo hoo, my daddys the Dark Lord of the Sith…
waahhh wahhh!

Luke: Shut up…

Darth Vader: Youre a slacker! By the time I was youre age, I had
exterminated the Jedi knights!

Luke: I used to race my T-16 through Beggars Canyon!

Darth Vader: Oh, for the love of the Emperor… 10 years old, winner of the
Boonta Eve Open… Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer… right here baby!

Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it.

Darth Vader: I was wrong… Youre not my kid… I dont know whose you
are, but you sure aint mine…

Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the
shaft. Darth Vader looks after him.

Darth Vader: Get a haircut!

Most viewed Jokes (20)