Alright, Stupid Office Tricks 2004. Let us know your scores. NO CHEATING. CONTACT US with detailed scoring. We will post the highest scores and comments on the main page in a few weeks. Good Luck!
One-Point Gags
——————–
· Ignore the first five people who say good morning to you.
· In the middle of a meeting, suddenly shout out Yahtzee!
· Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, Sorry, I really prefer it this way.
· Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, Just called to say I cant talk right now. Bye.
· Run one lap around the office at top speed.
· To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
· Walk sideways to the photocopier.
· When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!
· While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
Three-Point Gags
————————-
· Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, Did you get all that, I dont want to have to repeat it.
· Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a non-player within sight).
· Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
· Say to your boss, I like your style and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.
· Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
Five-Point Gags
———————-
· After every sentence, say mon in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in, The reports on your desk, mon. Keep this up for one hour.
· Announce to everyone in a meeting that you really have to go do number two.
· At lunch time get down on your knees and announce As God as my witness, Ill never go hungry again.
· At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra 3 points if you actually launch into it yourself).
· Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, Ya wanna trade?
· Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, I cant talk about it.
· Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
· For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as Bob.
· Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
· In a colleagues diary, write in 10:00 am See how I look in tights.
· In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!
· Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person:
Do you hear that?
What?
Never mind, its gone now
· Tuck one pant leg into your sock and when queried, answer, not now and walk away.
· Walk into a very busy persons office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
· While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
· While talking to a colleague, pick your nose.