Alright, Stupid Office Tricks 2004. Let us know your scores. NO CHEATING. CONTACT US with detailed scoring. We will post the highest scores and comments on the main page in a few weeks. Good Luck!

One-Point Gags

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· Ignore the first five people who say good morning to you.

· In the middle of a meeting, suddenly shout out Yahtzee!

· Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, Sorry, I really prefer it this way.

· Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, Just called to say I cant talk right now. Bye.

· Run one lap around the office at top speed.

· To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

· Walk sideways to the photocopier.

· When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!

· While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

Three-Point Gags

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· Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, Did you get all that, I dont want to have to repeat it.

· Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a non-player within sight).

· Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).

· Say to your boss, I like your style and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.

· Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

Five-Point Gags

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· After every sentence, say mon in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in, The reports on your desk, mon. Keep this up for one hour.

· Announce to everyone in a meeting that you really have to go do number two.

· At lunch time get down on your knees and announce As God as my witness, Ill never go hungry again.

· At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra 3 points if you actually launch into it yourself).

· Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, Ya wanna trade?

· Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, I cant talk about it.

· Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

· For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as Bob.

· Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

· In a colleagues diary, write in 10:00 am See how I look in tights.

· In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!

· Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person:

Do you hear that?

What?

Never mind, its gone now

· Tuck one pant leg into your sock and when queried, answer, not now and walk away.

· Walk into a very busy persons office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

· While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.

· While talking to a colleague, pick your nose.