Never squat with yer spurs on.

Theres two theories to arguin with a woman; neither one works.

Dont worry about bitin off more than you can chew, your mouth is probably a whole lot biggern you think.

If you get to thinkin youre a person of some influence, try orderin somebody elses dog around.

Never smack a man whos chewin tobacco.

It dont take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

If youre ridin ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure its still there.

Lettin the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier n puttin it back in.

Finally, never miss a good chance to shut up.