Old and New Jokes

In the pre-Thanksgiving rush, we have received an early

weather report from our in-house weather reporters. This is

one, you should be sure to email your Mom.

Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an

afternoon high near 190F. The kitchen will turn hot and

humid, and if you bother the cook, be ready for a severe

squall or cold shoulder.


During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of a

knife will slice through the turkey, causing an accumulation

of one to two inches on plates. Mashed potatoes will drift

across one side while cranberry sauce creates slippery spots

on the other. Please pass the gravy.


A weight watch and indigestion warning have been issued for

the entire area, with increased stuffiness around the

beltway. During the evening, the turkey will diminish and

taper off to leftovers, dropping to a low of 34F in the

refrigerator.


Looking ahead to Friday and Saturday, high pressure to eat

sandwiches will be established. Flurries of leftovers can be

expected both days with a 50 percent chance of scattered soup

late in the day. We expect a warming trend where soup

develops. By early next week, eating pressure will be low as

the only wish left will be the bone.