The 33 Greatest Lies in Aviation (Offensive to Pilots)

Im from the FAA and Im here to help you.
Me? Ive never busted minimums.
We will be on time, maybe even early.
Pardon me, maam, I seem to have lost my jet keys.
I have no interest in flying for the airlines.
I fixed it right the first time, it must have failed for other reasons.
All that turbulence spoiled my landing.
Im a member of the mile high club.
I only need glasses for reading.
I broke out right at minimums.
The weather is gonna be alright; its clearing to VFR.
Dont worry about the weight and balance – itll fly.
If we get a little lower I think well see the lights.
Im 22, got 6000 hours, a four year degree and 3000 hours in a Lear.
We shipped the part yesterday.
Id love to have a woman co-pilot.
All you have to do is follow the book.
This plane outperforms the book by 20 percent.
We in aviation are overpaid, underworked and well respected.
Oh sure, no problem, Ive got over 2000 hours in that aircraft.
I have 5000 hours total time, 3200 are actual instrument.
No need to look that up, Ive got it all memorized.
Sure I can fly it – it has wings, doesnt it?
Well be home by lunchtime.
Your plane will be ready by 2 oclock.
Im always glad to see the FAA.
We fly every day – we dont need recurrent training.
It just came out of annual – how could anything be wrong?
I thought YOU took care of that.
Ive got the field in sight.
Ive got the traffic in sight.
Of course I know where we are.
Im SURE the gear was down.

Never trust a pilot with clean hands. Never address a major international terrorist as Bubbi.

Most viewed Jokes (20)