Old and New Jokes

A duck walks into a bar, sits down at the barstool, and waits for the bartender.



The bartender walks up, hands the duck a menu, waits a while, and comes back to take his order. Whatll it be? the bartender says.



The duck says, I think Ill have the grapes. Well, Im sorry sir, but this is a bar, we dont serve grapes here. Now, Ill let you look a bit longer and wave when you know what you want.



The duck looks at the menu, then waves the bartender down. Ok, you got your order? The duck nods, saying, Ill think Ill have the grapes.



The bartender, kind of peeved from the duck, says, Look Mac, we dont have any grapes here. This is a bar. We dont serve grapes, so what will you have?!



The duck looks at him in the eyes and says, Ill have the grapes.



The bartender, enraged, shouts, If you ask for the grapes one more time Im going to nail your feathered a** to the barstool!!



The bartender cools off a bit. Now what will you get?! Got any nails? OF COURSE WE DONT HAVE ANY NAILS! WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS? AN APPLIANCE STORE?



Good, got any grapes?