The Hypnotic Sermon!

A local preacher was dissatisfied with the small amount in the

collection plates each Sunday. Someone suggested to him that

perhaps he might be able to hypnotize the congregation into giving


And just how would I go about doing that? he asked.

It is very simple. First you turn off the air conditioner so that

the auditorium is warmer than usual. Then you preach in a monotone

voice. Meanwhile, you dangle a watch on a chain and swing it in a

slow arc above the lectern and suggest they put 20 dollars in the

collection plate.

So the very next Sunday, the reverend did as suggested, and lo and

behold, the plates were full of 20 dollar bills! Now, the preacher

did not want to take advantage of this technique each and every

Sunday. So therefore, he waited for a couple of weeks and then tried

his mass hypnosis again.

Just as the last of the congregation was becoming mesmerized, the

chain on the watch broke and the watch hit the lectern with a loud

thud and springs and parts flew everywhere. Crap! exclaimed the


It took them a week to clean up the church.

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