Old and New Jokes

Women will speak only when spoken to or instructed to do so.
Men have the right and the duty to point out PMS wherever and whenever they
see it.
Men have the right to tell a woman to take a Midol and leave.
Men will call the day after if and only if they see fit.
The man is always right; no questions or whining tolerated, ever.
If a man says that she asked for it, she asked for it.
All commands are expected to be followed without question or hesitation.
Teasing is regarded as a serious offense and will be dealt with
accordingly.
Football games will not be interrupted for any reason without prior written
consent from the man.
The female will shop for groceries only and may not use a credit card.
Shopping will be conducted only when absolutely necessary and then only
under male supervision.
Mood swings are not a justifiable excuse for anything.
If any of the above rules prove inconvenient or undesirable for the male,
they will be adjusted at his discretion without warning.