Old and New Jokes

The night before Y2K

Twas the night before Y2K,

And all through the nation

We awaited The Bug,

The Millennium sensation.



The chips were replaced

In computers with care,

In hopes that ol Buggy

Wouldnt stop there.



While some folks could think

They were snug in their beds

Others had visions

Of dread in their heads.



And Ma with her PC,

And I with my Mac

Had just logged on the Net

And kicked back with a snack.



When over the server,

There arose such a clatter

I called Mister Gates

To see what was the matter.



But he was away,

So I flew like a flash

Off to my bank

To withdraw all my cash.



When what with my wandering eyes

Should I see?

My good old Mac

Looked sick to me.



The hack of all hackers

Was looking so smug,

I knew that it must be

The Y2K Bug!



His image downloaded

In no time at all,

He whistled and shouted,

Let all systems fall!



Go Intel! Go Gateway!

Now HP! Big Blue!

Everything Compaq,

And Pentium too!



All processors big,

All processors small,

Crash away! Crash away!

Crash away all!



All the controls

That planes need for their flights

All microwaves, trains

And all traffic lights.



As I drew in my breath

And was turning around,

Out through the modem,

He came with a bound.



He was covered with fur,

And slung on his back

Was a sackful of virus,

Set for attack.



His eyes-how they twinkled!

His dimples-how merry!

As midnight approached, though

Things soon became scary.



He had a broad little face

And a round little belly,

And his sack filled with virus

Quivered like jelly.



He was chubby and plump,

Perpetually grinning,

And I laughed when I saw him

Though my hard drive stopped spinning.



A wink of his eye,

And a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know

A new feeling of dread.



He spoke not a word,

But went straight to his work,

He changed all the clocks,

Then turned with a jerk.



With a twitch of his nose,

And a quick little wink,

All things electronic

Soon went on the blink.



He zoomed from my system,

To the next folks on line,

He caused such a disruption,

Could this be a sign?



Then I heard him exclaim,

With a loud, hearty cry,

Happy Y2K to all,

Kiss your PCs good-bye!