A man walks into a bar and he has a pet octopus. He sits down at the bar and says to the bartender give us two beers over here!
The bartender walks over and sees the octopus and he says, Didnt you see the sign over there it says no pets allowed!
The man says to the bartender, oh but you dont understand this is a special octopus and he can play any musical instrument that you have.
The bartender replied back, well Ill tell you what, if he can play any instrument you can both drink for free all night!
The bartender walks up to the band playing and grabs a guitar. He puts it down on the bar.
The octopus crawls up on the bar and feels around the guitar for a little while, then finally he picks it up and starts jamming. Hes so good he sounded like Jimi Hendricks!
The bartender was amazed and says, alright lets try one more.
This time he goes into the back room and brings out a dusty old set of bagpipes and promptly put them on the bar and says lets see him play this!
The octopus starts crawling all over the bagpipes. He continues this for quite awhile.
The bartender shouted out See I knew he couldnt play all these instruments!
And the man replies, Just give him a few more minutes…
as soon as he figures out he cant have sex with it, hell play it!
20
May
Additional Jokes From "Bar"
- 5 Stages of Being Drunk
- Signs That You are Too Drunk
- Looking to buy a frog?
- There is a monkey in the bar
- Manhattan with a Plum
- The Pirate and the Steering Wheel
- 2 pieces of meat at a bar.
- Deaf Men in a Bar
- The Ballerina
- Shine On, You Crazy
- Dickens and the Martini
- The Cowboy whose horse gets stolen
- Fag bar
- Killing some nerds
- A mushroom walks into a bar.