The Top 13 Signs Your Computer Has a Virus

Every time you double click something, a message box asks, Is that your final answer?
Your motherboard keeps making chicken soup.
Every time you hit the delete key, a naked photo of Shelley Winters pops up.
Snot is dripping out of the disk drive.
Incriminating e-mails about Whitewater, Monica, and Vince Foster mysteriously disappear. (White House only)
Before ejecting the CD, it makes a disgusting hocking noise.
The Dr. Solomon splash screen pops up again, but this time hes brought a priest.
Its having a helluva time getting a referral from the HMOs primary care tech support guy.
Your screen saver now shows Pamela Anderson at home with the flu.
Pus between the keys, pus in the floppy drives, and pus oozing out of the monitor — its either a virus, or Ron in Sales has been using it without your permission again.
Your web browser just tossed its cookies.
Dell customer service recommends the nighttime, freezing, rebooting, up-locking, destroying, hosed-drive, deleted so you can buy a new PC medicine.

and Topfive.coms Number 1 Sign Your Computer Has a Virus…

Your dancing hamsters are all dead.

[ This list copyright 2000 by Chris White ]
[ The Top 5 List top5@topfive.com http://www.topfive.com/ ]

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