The Top 14 Signs Your Car Needs Cleaning

Your beautiful new VW Beetle is constantly being mistaken for the Oscar Meyer Turdmobile.
On the way to the fishin hole, Andy and Opie stop by your windshield for bait.
Greenpeace wont let you move the car for fear of displacing some dung beetles that have taken up residence.
Neighborhood kids offer: Mow your Volvo, sir?
Your pine tree air freshener is now a protected old growth forest.
Satellite photos reveal crop circles on your roof.
Wash Me appears on your trunk — chiseled with a jackhammer.
Impossible to drive with the kids always clamoring to have a look through the periscope.
Your cell phone antenna is really a sapling which took root.
The kids seem really freaked-out by those blood stains in the Bronco.
Visits to the farm always result in pigs humping your tires.
Kids write PLOW ME! on your trunk.
When you blow the horn, prairie dogs pop up from the hood.

and Topfive.coms Number 1 Sign Your Car Needs Cleaning…

That rank smell coming from under all those McDonalds bags? The missing baby!!!

[ This list copyright 1999 by Chris White ]
[ The Top 5 List top5@topfive.com http://www.topfive.com/ ]
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