The Top 15 Signs Your Fraternity Brothers Dont Really Like You

  1. They stripped you and locked you in the trunk of your car with a fifth of vodka – but that was three weeks ago, and youre getting cold and hungry.
  2. Your hazing involves rope, concrete blocks, and a river.
  3. Other pledges: hazing guided by the universitys Uniform Code of Acceptable Fraternal Practice; You: hazing guided by old RoadRunner cartoons.
  4. You understand the spanking part of the hazing ritual, but the peanut butter and the German Shepherd were totally uncalled for.
  5. You get a special hazing which involves a Jacuzzi and a toaster.
  6. Even though youre 99% finished with that Get elected US President hazing ritual, they still wont return your calls.
  7. They refuse to let you borrow their Hootie and the Blowfish CDs.
  8. The only times they let you into a frat party are when they need some fingerprints on a piece of evidence.
  9. They only let you binge from the keg of ODouls.
  10. They challenge the pledge class to see how many pledges can fit into your sister.
  11. Everyone elses drunken group-bonding features strong homoerotic overtones, but yours is just a naked paddling.
  12. All the sorority virgins get taken to *your* bed. Just not by you.
  13. They trade you, 3 Molsons and a bag of Funions to the Deltas for a neon beer sign.
  14. Helloooo? Youre *paying money* to hang out with them! Do I need to repeat that?

    and Topfive.coms Number 1 Sign Your Fraternity Brothers Dont Really Like You…

  15. Your pledge command: Every time George W. Bush says something dumb, you do a shot.

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[ Copyright 2000 by Chris White ]

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