Old and New Jokes

A blond had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.



My God! the trooper gasped. Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK maam?



Yes officer, Im just fine! the blond chirped.



Well, how in the world did this happen? the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.



Officer, it was the strangest thing! the blond began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was…



Uh, maam, the officer said, cutting her off, There isnt a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth.