The Twelve Days After Christmas
The first day after Christmas
My true love and I had a fight
And so I chopped the pear tree down
And burnt it, just for spite
Then with a single cartridge
I shot that blasted partridge
My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.
The second day after Christmas
I pulled on the old rubber gloves
And very gently wrung the necks
Of both the turtle doves
My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.
On the third day after Christmas
My mother caught the croup
I had to use the three French hens
To make some chicken soup [peop100078_x51.WMF (46812 bytes)]
The four calling birds were a big mistake
For their language was obscene
The five golden rings were completely fake
and turned my fingers green.
The sixth day after Christmas
The six laying geese wouldnt lay
So I sent the whole darn gaggle to the A.S.P.C.A.
On the seventh day, what a mess I found
The seven swans-a-swimming all had drowned
(I think theres a my true love gave to me in here somewhere)
The eighth day after Christmas
Before they could suspect
I bundled up the
Eight maids-a-milking
Nine ladies dancing
Ten lords-a-leaping
Eleven pipers piping
Twelve drummers drumming – well, actually I kept one of the
drummers –
And sent them back collect
I wrote my true love
We are through, love!
And I said in so many words
Furthermore your Christmas gifts were for the
(Soprani) Birds!
(Everyone else) Four calling birds,
Three french hens,
Two turtle doves
And a partridge in a pear tree!
18
May
Additional Jokes From "Seasonal / Holiday"
- Seasonal Medical Report
- 12 Bugs of Christmas
- Teddy Kennedy the Red Nosed senator (adult)
- What do you call someone who kills people in the morning?
- Combating Santa Ridicule
- The very different children
- Cursing Problem
- I think Santa Claus is a woman….
- Redneck
- Preparation for parenthood
- Childishness at Christmas time
- A Genealogists Christmas Eve
- Removing of a tattoo
- How the Angel came to be on top of the Christmas tree
- PROOF: Santa Claus Does NOT Exist