There oughta be a law

Poza publicata in [ General / Unsorted ]

I found the following bit of humor in the March 1995 Readers Digest. Do any of you have laws youd like to add to the list?


By Richard Johnson

It seems that we have laws for everything but the stuff that can really get on our nerves. For instance, there oughta be a law to protect citizens from the airline passenger who maintains his seat in a fully reclined position while an in-flight meal is being served. So I propose that we start passing some much-needed legislation to crack down on the following offenses:

RESISTING A REST: Repeatedly disrupting an entire row of patrons at a theater or sports event by heading for refreshments, frequent rest-room visits and leg-stretching.

EUPHONIOUS ASSAULT: Playing the car radio at ear-splitting volume so the next driver is blasted into the back seat.

LANE SHARKING: Parking over two spaces in a crowded lot so that the adjacent space is rendered useless.

COFFEE-RIGHT INFRINGEMENT: Hurry-up restaurant employees who are too quick to bring your bill at the end of a meal.

VIOLATION OF INDIVIDUAL SWIVEL RIGHTS: Rotating a circular merchandise rack while another shopper is browsing on the other side.

BREAKING AND EXITING: Slipping away after dropping a bottle of pancake syrup while in an empty grocery-store aisle.

SORRY I MISSED HIMMEANOR: Intentionally returning unwanted phone calls when you know the party who called will be out.

KIDYAPPING: Failure to get off the subject of your children.

POLY-GAMEY: Attempting to watch two televised football games and a tennis tournament simultaneously on a Sunday afternoon by means of rapid-fire, remote-control channel surfing.

LABOR FRAUD: Politicians who roll up their sleeves only when posing for campaign photographs.

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