Things Not to Hear During Surgery

Better save that. Well need it for the autopsy.

Someone call the janitor – were going to need a mop. Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog! Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then whats that? Hand me that….uh….that uh….thingie.
Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before? Darn, there go the lights again… Ya know, theres big money in kidneys. Heck, the guys got two of em. Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens! Could you stop that thing from beating? Its throwing my concentration off.. Whats this doing here? I hate it when theyre missing stuff in here. Thats cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?! I wish I hadnt forgotten my glasses.
Sterile, shcmerile. The floors clean, right? Anyone see where I left that scalpel? This patient has already had some kids, am I correct? Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card? Dont worry. I think it is sharp enough. FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out now!! Darn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!

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