Things to do in the office when youe bored

Office work dull?…

None of your colleagues appreciate your humour?…

Amuse yourself. Points are awarded on a degree of difficulty basis. You can award yourself extra points for creative execution

ONE-POINT GAGS Run one lap around the office at top speed Groan out loud in the bathroom cubicle (at least one othernon-player must be in the bathroom at the time) When theyre not looking, pour most of someones fresh cup of coffee into your mug leaving them with an inch of brew. Ignore the first five people who say good morning to you Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say Just called to say I cant talk right now. Bye To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace. When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good! Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, Sorry, I really prefer it this way Walk sideways to the photcopier. While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open

THREE-POINT GAGS Say to your boss, I like your style and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers. Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask Did you get All that, I dont want to have to repeat it Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a non-player within sight). Shout random numbers while someone is counting

FIVE POINT GAGS At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself). Walk into a very busy persons office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as Bob Announce to everyone in a meeting that you really have to go do number two After every sentence, say mon in a really bad Jamacian accent,as in, the reports on your desk, mon. Keep this up for one hour While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, Shut up, damm it, all of you just shut up! At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce As God is my witness, Ill never go hungry again. In a colleagues diary, write in 10am: See how I look in tights Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask You wanna trade? Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: Do you hear that? What? Never mind, its gone now Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, I can talk about it Posing as a maitre d, call a colleague and tell him hes won a lunch for four at a local resturant. Let him go Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call. Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out. Rollerblade around the floor throwing sweets

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